Am I Perfect Yet?

No matter how many times I reassure myself it keeps coming back
Back for more

They say its ridiculous
But they have no idea

So I say welcome to the game
Hope you know how to play

Its all about who can go the farthest
Who can last the longest
Who can disappear the fastest

Are you ready to begin?
I've been playing for so long
I haven't forgot the rules
I'm ready to start this charade

Open your mind to a place you never imagined
A place where your nightmares are alive
Where perfection is the only name
All you need to do is open that door
Then you can let it in

Take my word,
This will be like nothing you have experienced before

Those you used to call weak now you see how strong they really are
Those you called the freaks you see how human they must be
Those you looked down upon, now they are looking down on you

Your life was so whole before you came down those stairs
Now you push everyone away
They don't understand what has become of you
What you are dong behind their backs
Why you hide behind those closed doors

They tell you to walk away from it all
But it just won't let up
It has become you
And it's everything to you

They had to look away
Your pain was too much to take in

But you held your breath and let out a cry
You just wanted to be perfect
To be the best you could be

They were afraid that you might fade into the light
So they closed their eyes
And cried at night
Because your pain was too much to take in


Your life was so whole before you came down those stairs
Now you push everyone away
They don't understand what has become of you
What you are dong behind their backs
Why you hide behind those closed doors

They tell you to walk away from it all
But it just won't let up
It has become you
And it's everything to you

I can't tell them my truth
Because they tell me its all lies
I just wanted to make my dreams come true
I wanted to be beautiful
I wanted to tell them what I really had to say
But I couldn't get it out

So I clenched my hands and fell down
It was my own
I was cold and broken
But I couldn't walk away


I've been at this too long
It was new to them
Old to me
I didn't mean for them to cry for me
I tricked myself into thinking they had no clue
But they knew too well
No matter how much I told them I was fine
They couldn't understand
They told me to walk away from it all
But it just won't let up
It has become me
And it's everything to me
Ana.

- Gray

The Bottom of It All

I'm really not sure what runs through your brain
Why you think it's OK
To treat me like you do

You have to ask everyone around for my story
You don't even know

You have one life to make it
And you turned it to shit

I left my heart to you
And you turned it to stone

Was it worth it?

You mistake me for being alive
But that was when I had everything
Now you just see it in my eyes

How does it feel
When you said you would die for her your love
And now your saying it to a ghost
A Monster

That collective sigh I let out so long ago
I'm sucking back in that wretched air
It clogs my lungs and kills my brain

I wont let it be
I wont let you take control

You walked out that door 6 years ago
So go -
Quit standing in my life
Quit pushing them on me
Quit saying you love me
Quit lying to me
Quit hurting me
Quit disappointing me

Because I'm really not sure what runs through your brain
Why you think it's OK
To treat me like you do

You have to ask everyone around for my story
You don't even know

You have one life to make it
And you turned it to shit

I left my heart to you
And you turned it to stone

So tell me,
Was it worth it?

- Gray

Bleed.

Titled Bleed by Ariel Gray


My body can't move anymore

You're keeping me locked up inside

My hands have been clenched
Since I was 5

I can't pretend any longer
Because I don't know how all of this got started

I wrote it down
I tried to close my eyes
But I think I wanted those dark lines more

I wish it could have been any other way
But I chose this way;

Now your taking it away from me
I'm so confused

There is no pain
But there is always pain

This cannot be fixed

I wont let it

I still want this

To see them look at me like that
To see you look at me like that -

I saw the fear in their eyes
Your eyes

They were looking at death
And I looked right back

All I wanted was to make my life better
But all I got was just the opposite

I thought I knew exactly how it would end
But I'm still here
Left to bleed a little bit everyday

- Gray